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"Leaving Song"

And everytime I think of you
I'll remember all the goodtimes that we've had
And everytime I sing this tune
I will laugh, I will cry, I will close my eyes
Cause I know that it won't be long

Until we sing, we will write
We will laugh away the night
And the good times will never end
When we meet again

And I'm gonna be somewhat lonely
cause you know no one could ever fill your shoes
As iron sharpens iron you have taught me how to be a stronger man
And I look forward to the day I learn again

We will sing, we will write
We will laugh away the night
And I know that it won't be long
Until we meet again

Though I wish that I were with you now
I know there's a reason for a space
I can dream of memories you're writing down
And I look forward to that day
And the smile on your face

We will sing, we will write
We might cry and we might fight
And the good times will never end
We will laugh, we'll relax, we'll reflect on the years we've past
And I know that it won't be long, until we meet again

And everytime I think of you

I'm like the Grim Reeper. Everything I touch dies.

OK . . . I gots a new question for all of you . . .

~~ If someone were to walk up to you and ask "Who is Lauren Reinke?" What would you say? Like not "oh she's just this girl I know." Or "yeah she's my friend." Or "this girl I used to like." and not like "oh she's really short and had dark brown hair." Haha. Think of something meaningful! ~~

So this weekend was pretty good. Memorial's battle of the bands on Friday. Hung out with Casey and John and Troy and Kalen and Renae. It was fun stuff. Re met this guy named Ryan. Then found out how I knew him. CHURCH! Duh Reinke! Haha. Then Saturday I went to see Fortinbras at North. Goooooood play. SOOOO FUNNY! Haha. I laughed the whole time. Plus I got to hang out with Jason for the first time in forever! Haha. Yesterday I went to Ryan's and hung out with him and CODY who I haven't seen in forever and met this guy Jesse who is a pretty cool kid and Ryan's brother who is freaking awesome! Haha. Today was fun! I got to hang out with Justin a lot which was a ton of fun. And me and Ian laughed in English. I don't see him enough. But yeah . . . I think I am going to go because my life is boring and you don't want to hear about it.

3 top things on MY mind.

1. A boy

2. A different boy

3. And another boy

If you can guess who the 3 different guys are I will buy you a chocolate bar. Not kidding. The smilies beside tell you how I am feeling about those guys right now. Haha.

:EDIT//

Tuesday Febuary 28, 2006

A year ago today I met a boy who changed my life.
I will always love him.

He is:
~~ The last person I think about at night and the first thing on my mind in the morning
~~ The boy who healed my heart . . . Then made it shatter
~~ The boy I love . . . and will love until the day I die
~~ The most caring, understanding, lovable, adorable, pasionate, heartbreaking, hypocritical, confused, goofy, warm, sympathetic, beautiful, perfect person I have EVER met.
~~ The reason I cry at night
~~ The boy holding the bleeding part of my heart he stole and refuses to give back
~~ The only person I miss ever second not spend by his side, and the person who I feel completely carefree when I am with him
~~ The big chunk of my heart that is missing
~~ Everything I've ever dreamed of
~~ The only person I completely trust to take care of my heart even though he forgot to catch me when I fell. I trust him to put my heart back together when he's ready.
~~ The hug that tells me I'm loved and protected
~~ The smell that brings back hundreds of amazingly perfect memories
~~ The one guy who I will always have feelings for no matter who I am with . . . he will never completely leave me
~~ My one and only
~~ With her.

But as long as he's happy I will pretend that everything in the world is fine. I am done showing my feelings.

//END EDIT:

"No more trying to make this all right, no more trying tonight
And you know it's not so easy when your all alone
And I wonder if I'm alone in your head
I know something is wrong, I just don't know what to do
You say it's only me and that I'm so perfect for you
12 weeks gone by since I saw you last
I'll give this one more try, I'll give it all my best
And I what could you be doing that is so much fun
Without me by your side? Without me by your side . . .
And I will take a step back, and let you ahead
And I will take a step away, and see if you come back
Because there's no more trying to make this alright
We'll never be the same, we will never be the same
We will never be the same until you're done . . ."

Lauren

PS!! Don't forget the question at the top!!!

It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky
It seems like yesterday I didn't know how hard I could cry
It feels like tomorrow I may not get by
But I will try, I will try
Wipe the tears from my eyes
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't care if I show it

Everyday is a new day
I'm reminded of the past
Every time there's another storm
I know that it won't last
Every moment I'm filled with hope cause I got another chance
But I will try, I will try
Got nothing Left to hide
Without the highs and the lows
Where would we go

I'm beautifully broken
And I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't care if I show it

                                           ----- Beautifully Broken, Ashlee Simpson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                                     

                Incomplete and total adoration, my gift to you my heart was yours. Ten weeks you shaped it, in one night you murdered it. Torn from my chest I’m laid at your feet. That first step you took was the worst. Since then you've walked a thousand miles in silence short of a mark I still have these memories but we will never see what we could have been. Remember when we talked about where we would be in a one year from now? Remember when you held my hand like you’d never let it go? Remember,  cause that’s all you can do. We’ll never make another memory. We’ll never make another memory. I wish I would have died in your arms the last time we were together, so I wouldn’t have to wait with out you today. This time I thought things were real. You said they were.  What happened? You were a priority was I an option? I let you see a side I don’t share with anyone. Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled. I knew from the beginning all I had to offer was my heart. I’m sorry that wasn’t enough.  So we will go our own ways and hopefully you will remember the things I told you. Hopefully you’ll understand that everything I said was in sincerity. A broken heart is not what I wanted from this, but I guess I’ve learned from this. But aren’t you supposed to learn from your mistakes? I don’t consider this a mistake; I just wish the story didn’t end this way... Cause I’m still in love with the person helped me write it. Remember when you held my hand like you’d never let it go? Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?

                                           ----- A Year From Now, Across Five Aprils                    

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can’t explain what you can’t explain.
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight will make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight

                                           ----- It Ends Tonight, All American Rejects 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Where am I!? Where are you?
There's so much time so little to do
We're busy doing nothing cause it's vanity we prize.
You can't see nothing cause you can't see through your eyes.
They're covered with a film, you're blinded by yourself.
You're the one to blame but you pretend it's someone else.

Life could you be a little softer to me.
Life could you be a more gentle to me.
Yeah I know this is a selfish plea,
Because Christ sacrificed his flesh
On the cross for me
But this world is hard,
It's cruel and I wish it could be...
Softer to me

I'm still alive. That much is true
I've never lied, well, I guess I've told a few.
There's nothing to see because I brought nothing to show.
The conversation got too deep, I shrug and tell you I' don't know.
This life can get so hard, this world can be so cruel,
Sometimes I fall apart I feel just like a useless tool.

Currently Listening Adoration: The Worship Album By Newsboys see related

I am so happy. Basically that is the emotion right now. Haha. I have never been this happy or excited. And I am sooo thankful to Kaley and Kelsey and particularly Kelcy right now. Thank you for all that you gave me this weekend. It's been the best 3 days I have ever had. Thank you also to Luke and John for making this weekend a billion times better. Which is amazing because I didn't know it could get better. God is AMAZING. He is my everything. I got baptized last night and it's the most wonderful thing in the world. I love God and faith and I am so lucky to have found him when I did. Thank you to all who have helped me find my path. Jason. Kaley. Kelcy. Kelsey. You guys are the best friends I could EVER ask for. I have all I need. THE Amazing God, my wonderful friends, an awesome family... I have it all and I realize that now. I am so lucky. Thank you Kaley. Thank you Kelcy. Thank you Jason. Thank you Kelsey. Thank you God!!!

Lauren

How great is our God, Sing with me
How great is our God, And all will see
How great, how great is our God
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You give and take away, you give and take away
My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name
Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in Lord, Still I will say
BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD
BLESSED BE YOUR GLORIOUS NAME!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord

And we say yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Amen

I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning...

Rest In Peace with your Lord and Savior in eternity...
I will meet you there someday...

Dolores "Doll" Malinda Reinke
July 20, 1915 - January 1, 2006

You will be loved forever and missed until we see you once again.
Look down on us with protective eyes and a loving heart.

Your gift to us was not religion, not church, but FAITH.

I will live as if you are watching me always... I will make you proud.
I promise.